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Another GREAT Stevism Idea:

ECO Ribbed Condoms, Just turn them inside out, and let the ribbing help the guy this time…#steveisbrilliant

 

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FML Returns. Trust me, I have no life in 2013

Me: If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but naw, forget it, yo homes to Bel Air  Chicago Officer: Be quiet back there

 

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Look being homeless is a busy life…so FML

Stevism: The difference between knowing Steve’s da shit and knowing Steve’s just shit.

 

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And people wonder why I hate interns:

This morning, and I didnt have my fill of 3 gallons of coffee yet…

Tech Support on phone: Right click on that file

Intern: Is that your right or mine?

ARE YOU F’ING KIDDING ME?!!  

 

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Say what grasshopper?

i speak the truth, and if i dont know it, i make it up

 

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FML….again you bastards!!

I am constantly putting things where they don’t belong, like cereal in the fridge, tots in my pants or my faith in my other personalities.

 

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I’ve been a bad bad blogger, but Im back with Man Laws for Men like me

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Man Laws to follow…………Now and forever, bitches

1) If a man is punched, and the hit is rubbed by himself, his gf, sister, wife or least of all his Mommy, he is punched again in the same area…again and again, and again

2) When made to shop on Black Friday, it is acceptable to wear a black outfit, black man thong, black ski mask in the hopes of leaving said woman that made you shop on the worlds worst day for shopping. Wait, is sex the reward? Then never mind.

3) The girl who replies to the question “what do you want for Christmas?” with “if you loved me, you’d know what I want” gets last years Xbox. End of story

3 Rulers for Women

1) When choosing a bottle of wine to bring to a holiday party, spend between 10 and 15 dollars. That’s for a bottle, not a gallon.

2) Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook. Actually buying something off of our holiday list…even better

3) We don’t like it when you act like Mr Big; we like it when you are Mr Big.  2 for 1 Big Mac dont fucking count…dumb ass 

 

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