Man Laws to follow…………Now and forever, bitches
1) If a man is punched, and the hit is rubbed by himself, his gf, sister, wife or least of all his Mommy, he is punched again in the same area…again and again, and again
2) When made to shop on Black Friday, it is acceptable to wear a black outfit, black man thong, black ski mask in the hopes of leaving said woman that made you shop on the worlds worst day for shopping. Wait, is sex the reward? Then never mind.
3) The girl who replies to the question “what do you want for Christmas?” with “if you loved me, you’d know what I want” gets last years Xbox. End of story
3 Rulers for Women
1) When choosing a bottle of wine to bring to a holiday party, spend between 10 and 15 dollars. That’s for a bottle, not a gallon.
2) Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook. Actually buying something off of our holiday list…even better
3) We don’t like it when you act like Mr Big; we like it when you are Mr Big. 2 for 1 Big Mac dont fucking count…dumb ass